It been four years dating him. You met this guy when you were in second year. Then, he was a Prince Charming. He took you to hotels you never imagined existed, took you to watch wild life and occasionally you went out to swim, something you have always loved. Being new in the city, you felt like the queen of your village. The pictures and selfies you took became a great source of envy and pride.

He worked in one of the hospitals as a doctor, though he lived in a single room. When you asked why, he said..”Darling, am still a single man and I don’t need a big house. I like keeping everything low and being cool. I have rented out the house given by the hospital so that I can save for our future.” Perfect explanation, and actually a sweet one.

Parents became happy knowing their daughter is dating a doctor who is so caring and loving. They admired your love life, saved and printed some selfies and talked so well of you in the village. Every year, you planned a visit to your parents and her parents but it didn’t happen. Sure, a man can never lack an excuse, especially African man who is so charming.

Then you both decided to tie the note and cross over. You move in and begin a life together as you plan everything.

After the last semester, you decide to travel home.. to say hi to your parents in the village then come back to look for a job. Weirdly, you stay home three days and you don’t get even a text, let alone a call. You get a little worried, so you call. “I travelled to Uganda, for some field trip. I’ll be back next week.” Just another convincingly awesome reason why there was no call. But you get alarmed when you remember the phone rang, not as it rings when you call someone outside the country. Since you had the key, you decide to cut short your visit and get back to keep a clear conscience.

It’s late in the evening, the Nairobi sun is a little scorching, maybe because of the increased amount of dust in the air. You are tired and a little worried, a little emotional, a little moody and some fear lingers within. What if he lied to me? Then you get a nausea coz you are one month pregnant now.

Then you open the door and you almost fainted. Another girl child has taken your space. It’s hard to explain the feeling coz it’s strange strong and severely painful. So, you turn back and walk away not knowing where you are heading to. Tears roll down your face uncontrollably. You wonder Who will help you in this strange city?

Soon, you realize he was not a doctor but a watchman. He had not even finished high school. The house he talked about was never real. The mother she always called when you were together was a fixed and paid lady. It’s like a dream. It’s like getting into your house and the awesome finishing has been removed leaving an ugly rugged wall. It’s painful to realize you have been lied and fooled and played for four years. Actually, more than excruciating pain.

For the sake of love you had grown and the baby soon coming, you agree to get back to him. Sometimes you have to make hard decision for the sake of love and those you care, and now all you care about is your baby developing within.

It’s not working but dying. Yes, the relationship is getting worse. He is now so abusive and gets home drunk. He goes on cheating and being unreasonable. Gosh! Life becomes so hard and getting even a coin becomes close to impossible.

One morning, you decide to move to your classmates house to get a break, vowing never to return back again. Love has now turned into hate and in equal magnitude.

You are broke, not employed and now eight months pregnant. It’s time to move and start a life. You borrow a ksh 3000 loan, pay rent and use the balance to buy food. You don’t have a mattress, so you sleep on a leso.

Every night you cry unto you find yourself asleep. Sometimes, you wish the baby died and sometimes you get strong just for her.

Then God answers your first prayer, you get a job. Soon, you buy a mattress, then a couch then…

Life is like a walk in darkness. We are all born knowing nothing. This world can cause us much pain and suffering but how sweet to know Jesus is always there to walk us through. It is our lack of awareness that causes pain and suffering. Ignorance is the enemy, it is the darkness within that must be driven with a “chebunyo” or “Kanyasang “ called books and awareness.

We are always masters of our circumstances and conditions. If pain, then cause is within and if happiness, the cause is within. It is our duty to daily strive to get understanding. You can never drive within and stand still without for without is a merciless mirror of what has and is happening within.

We are the masters of our circumstances and we have a great friend and helper and lover and dependable father who will be always there to help and guide and lead us.