Success today #152


temporary defeat

The damage was bad, but beyond the bruises, beyond the torn clothing, beyond the scalps,  a belief had been planted. She could not forget the screams of those boys, she could not forget, even after the bruises were healed. There was this whisper in her mind for all the years that would follow ,” maybe nobody does like me, maybe am not worthy, maybe am weird, maybe am cursed, maybe am not good enough”

How is it that our beliefs are shaped? Its our beliefs that make up our destination in life, its our beliefs that shape how we feel, how we experience the entire world. Your ability to relate, talk and engage with other people is basically based on believe. So if you can learn how to change your believes, you can change your life.

When a child is born, he or she blank, with no believe. But the believe system is soon installed based on the environment. If he or she is born in Sochoi, or Westlands, or Kenya or Canada or in a fear based family or in a positive based family or in a rich family or a poor family. By the age of three, the neural signature of the child equals that of parents who have influenced and they walk with that neural signature for the rest of their life. Its like a software installed into a computer. So our parents play a big role in shaping our belief system. Not barely by how they talk but how they behave. We tend to adapt their philosophies, their view of life,  their perspectives, their behavior and even their choices.


The story continues, the little girl grows up and is now eighteen. She is sitting in the cafeteria, its lunch time and she is sitting with a couple of friends. Then she feels the unmistakable presence of someone who had slid a chair behind her. She turns around and she is face to face with John. The boy who had planted a believe in his mind, the boy who had no idea of the impact she had caused in her life, the boy whose voice she could not get out of her head all of this years. However, this boy has always had a crush on her. She hands her a piece of paper, folded. She unfolds it and reads, ” Do you like me? Check yes or no” there were two check boxes down on the paper. Later on, that week, they are walking together, then John stops short, he is now inches from her face, so close and for a moment, they just stare at each other then he kisses her!

In that moment, she wonders, the believe she has curried all these years have been wrong. The believe that kept her quiet, the believe that held her back, the believe that had shaped her life so far, the believe that she was not worthy the believe that made her shy was all untrue because this boy who kicked her is now her first kiss.

People believe in different things based on environment indeed. People believe in different deities, different dressing styles, different people, different symbols. All these believes we have about your potential, about what you like or not, about what you can achieve are all made up. You have given its definition. The believe that you can be a good musician, doctor or teacher or programmer are basically shaped by who raised you or more so, your environment. Voltaire said this ” Every man is a creature of the age in which he lives; very few are able to raise themselves above the ideas of the times.” But its true you can raise yourself beyond the ideas of your parents, ideas of your age, ideas of you have learned. Its a challenge!


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